Because It Was Real
by thewoodlanddaughter
Summary: ((Post BotFA)) Tauriel is left broken after Kili's death. The red headed elleth continues on, coping with Legolas's unspoken goodbye, her banishment from home, and loss of her loved one. The battle, however, wasnt the end of it. Tauriel confronts Thranduil once and for all, has a long awaited, (anger-fueled) encounter with Legolas, all while on a quest to revive her starlight.
1. Chapter 1

During the battle, I gave my everything.

Yet I had so much more _taken _from me.

I clutched his cold, pale hand in mine, as if I was holding onto life itself. _He couldn't be gone_, I thought. _We've come too far, sacrificed too much. He cant leave me! _"Because it was _real_." Thranduil said, his voice dull and pain worn. His words cut through me like knives. And what hurt most of all, was that he was right. It was real. But I hadn't truly understood that.. until now.

Now I knew that I loved the black headed archer, as much as I loved the starlight.

I loved his way his eyes shone with youth and curiosity. I loved him for his loyalty to his family, and to his heart.

Kili gave his last so that I might live on. He loved me, unconditionally. And now, I would never have the chance to return that.

I gently kissed Kili on the forehead. The small amount of warmth leaving his body lingered on my lips. Thranduil respectfully kept his distance, and watched. I was swallowed up in the silence to follow.

"And what is to become of you now?" he asked, his voice breaking the quiet tension. "Where will you run?" I looked up at him, my eyes burning with tears. The truth is, I didn't know. I had been banished from the only home i've ever known."Where fate may lead me." I whispered, gingerly brushing a strand of hair from Kili's brow. Heartache and grief consumed me. I slowly got to my feet, pushing past the Elvenking, not daring to look back.

I took refuge in the halls of Erebor that night. The dwarves were more than generous. They provided me with chambers fit for a king, and allowed me to stay as long as I needed. Kindest of all, they provided me with consultation for my loss. The dwarves were as heartbroken as I was. But I refused to accept any of it. Kili's death left my heart numb. I subconsciously shut everyone and everything out. I had no appetite, and rest was nowhere to be found.

_Because it was real_. I lie awake on my satin sheets, Thranduils words echoing in my head. My mind was reeling with questions. I was shaken out of my deep train of thought by a pounding on the door. I found the will to get back onto my feet, and opened it to reveal none other than Balin standing before me. "Elleth, there is something you need to see." I was about to ask what in the world caused him to rouse me at this ungodly hour, but he stopped me. "Its about the lad, Kili."

I pushed past Balin, tripping over my own bare feet as I raced into the hall. A search party of dwarves, pulled up to the gates of Erebor. The torch light flickered off of the frantic party, carrying someone between them. They filed into a large chamber, resting the body on the large bed. I wound my way through the maze of people, pushing through to get a glimpse at what was so important. In between two heads, I could just make out the face of...Kili. My heart dropped, and I was frozen in shock. He was alive.

((Thanks for reading guys! This is my first shot at a fanfic..and I will continue if people would like me to..thanks!))

-Tauriel-


	2. Chapter 2

Balin gingerly guided me to the bedside, as he explained. Bolg's blade had indeed pierced through Kili's chest, causing not only difficulty breathing, but major blood loss. However, the blade missed his heart. Thranduil had found him still barely alive after I had left, and called for the dwarves to bring him back. "But...why? He couldn't have survived anyway. I watched the life leave his body.." I trailed off, shaking the nightmares from my mind.

"This isnt possible..how?" I asked, quietly. "That herb, you used to heal him in Laketown, put something into his body. Whatever that plant was, the medicine was still in his bloodstream. That magic kept his heart beating. And so, he is put into more of a sleep state than death." I sat down on the bedside, next to him. "What can I do?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of Kili. "We must find more of the plant, but the majority burned with Laketown. After we instill more of the healing properties, he will awaken." I listen, gently reaching for Kili's hand, when something small rolls into my palm. The talisman.

I smile, feeling its familiar shape in my hand. "However," Balin continues, "If the plant isn't brought back in time, the medicines in his blood will run out. In that case, the lad will indeed be lost to us." I felt my breath hitch. I could save him. I reached for the small stone, and decide take it with me, as a promise to him. "Then we have no time to waste." I say, kissing Kili once more on the forehead. There was only one other place that this herb grew... the same place I had learned medicinal practices. Grabbing my bow and daggers, I borrow a dwarven steed, and start the trek back to the only place I dare not go..Mirkwood. But I would. For him.

The ride back to Mirkwood was a rather long one. Perhaps it was the apprehension I felt at seeing Thranduil again. Nevertheless, my journey was a tiring one. I stopped in a small village just outside of Laketown for provisions and supplies. I removed a handful of gold coins, courtesy of the dwarves. The citizens in this village were very kind people, supplying me with more than enough food. I thanked them, and left to load my saddlebags. I took a seat outside, for a quick meal. I overheard 2 men talking outside the pub.

"Yeah, the prince..he's the reason the elvenking changed." One commented, "Thranduil has been acting strange." I shook my head in dismissal. My heart sunk at the mention of Legolas. But that feeling was soon replaced by anger. I remember the day he left very well. Through my tear-filled eyes, I could just make out the figure of Legolas, running off. My closest friend for the past 500 years had left me. Just like that. No words in any language could describe the betrayal and sadness I felt, watching Legolas disappear over the horizon. Goodness knows, I could never forgive him for leaving me, broken on the steps of Ravenhill. "Oh yeah?" The second man chimed in, "Rumor has it that his son is comin' back."

I nearly choked on a piece of bread. "Ah yes," he continued, voice slurred. "Gettin' ready for some journey. He's headed for Mirkwood as we speak!" He said, with a half hearted laugh. At that, I lost my appetite. Seeing Legolas again? I grabbed the food, and quickly mounted my horse, riding into the Mirkwood forests. Goodness knows I had a few choice words for the prince, but I wasn't scared of him. Nothing was going to keep me from bringing Kili back.

Thanks for the kind reviews guys! It means alot! :)

-Tauriel-


End file.
